Building the Broken

Finbar’s turtle died on Thursday. It was the first time he had to face up to the fact that sometimes life really sucks. We had a nice burial for “Little Weiwei” on Saturday. Finbar came up with the epitaph to put on the cross, made out of lollypop sticks, that said:

Xiao Weiwei, you must walk the path of righteousness, so you can be with the Lord Jesus. All the best, Finbar.

When he read it out, he broken down in tears halfway through.

I think pets are good for kids. Apart from being fun, they teach them about responsibility, and more importantly, about death and how to deal with it. Xiao Weiwei’s passing was a lesson for Finbar. Perhaps it broke a little part of him, but it also built him up for the greater pain that will come when his loved ones pass on.

Isaiah touches on being broken and built up in two great passages:

These are the words of the high and exalted One, who is enthroned for ever, whose name is holy: I dwell in a high and holy place and with him who is broken and humble, to revive the courage of the broken. (Isa 57:15)

The heavens are my throne and the earth is my footstool. Where will you build a house for me, where will my resting-place be? These are all of my own making, and all belong to me. This is the world of the Lord. The one for whom I have regard is oppressed and afflicted, one who reveres my word. (Isa 66:1-2)

God wants to live with people who have broken and humble spirits. Being “broken” or “contrite” is “daka” in Hebrew, which means “crushed”. Like measuring the building material for his household, the Lord tests and measures our spirits - our true selves - and only lives together with spiritually humble and broken people.

David is a good example. Matthew starts his gospel with the ancestry of the messiah, in which he emphasizes “David was the father of Solomon (his mother had been the wife of Uriah)” (Matt 1:6) Solomon was the result of David committing murder, adultery, and then repenting, and receiving God’s forgiveness.

Although David’s sins were forgiven, he was still punished by God, so his family never rested from the sword (2 Sam 12:10-14). Psalm 51 records David’s payer of repentance, which is also about God’s building work: “God, my sacrifice is a broken spirit, you, God, will not despise a chastened heart. Show favor to Zion and grant her prosperity; rebuild the walls of Jerusalem” (Psalm 51:17-18).

If we have never experienced failure or setbacks, it will be difficult for us to be built up with other people, because we will measure others by the standard of our own self-righteousness. But if we are enlightened by God and experience his forgiveness after failing, we will have a chastened heart and broken spirit to offer God. This kind of person can sympathize with others, and is good material to be built up together (Matt 26:69-75, John 21).

Broken and chastened, we see our own weaknesses, which helps us turn to God, and offer prayers to him; stops us thinking too highly of ourselves, and helps us reckon others better than ourselves, so we can willingly serve people; and be the kind of people that God can make into his home. (Isa 57:15)

God wants to gain certain people, whom he can enter and make his dwelling place. He wants a home where he is blended with us, builds up in us, and where we are built up in him, so that God and man, man and God live in each other. (John 14:2, 20, 23, 15:4, 1 John 4:13)

God needs people he can occupy. He doesn’t just want to move into our spirits, he wants to occupy every part of us. So we need to give ourselves up to God, and make ourselves open vessels to him. We need to strengthen our inner being, so that Christ can dwell in our hearts, and build himself within us.

In the New Testament, this dwelling place is the church, a household for God in the spirits of the faithful (Eph 2:22, 1 Tim 3:15). In the building of God’s house, the Lord is spiritually one with us; this corporate blended spirit is the reality of the church, God’s household and building place (1 Cor 6:17, Eph 2:22).

The consummation of this universal project is the New Jerusalem. In this city, God is in man, using man as a dwelling place; and man is in God, using God as a dwelling place.

O Home in the Church

We had a wonderful meeting on Sunday. Br. Quanhong brought along his old friend Aming, who vaguely remembers getting baptized in college, but had hardly been back to church until this week. Quanhong has known Aming since they did military service together. We started praying for him after Quanhong told us he’d started debating theology with him on Facebook, about a month ago. Aming is a bank manager in Kaohsiung, very smart and well-read, has lots of friends, and seemed to be happy with his lot. But, he agreed to come up from Kaohsiung, and spend the whole weekend with Quanhong, including Sunday at our home.

Br. Cai showed up as well, which is always a good sign. The topic of the morning meeting was “God’s dwelling place as a house of prayer”, and we sang the hymn “O home in the church” (which goes to the tune “Home on the range”) after lunch. Br. Cai talked about the lyrics very passionately, and told Aming to “come home”. After singing it one more time, we all prayed, and when it came to Aming’s turn, he pledged himself to the Lord, broke down in tears, and was welcomed back into the fold with open arms. It was really moving: like seeing the prodigal son come home.

The first verse of that hymn talks about our home in the church, and the second, God’s search for a home. God has a heartfelt desire to find a dwelling place in a group of people who can represent him. Genesis 1:26 - perhaps the most important verse in the whole Bible - is a blueprint for that household, where God’s will is to be done on earth by us human beings, who in our spiritual makeup have the image and likeness of God, and have the potential to trample God’s enemy under our feet.

Dealing with the enemy means dealing with our self, by becoming selfless. Watchman Nee said, “when dealing with Satan, we cannot leave one bit of ground for ourselves. We may hold on to something of ourselves in our study of the Scriptures, in preaching the gospel, in helping the church or the brothers, but when we are dealing with Satan, self must be utterly abandoned. Satan will never be moved by us if self is preserved.” (Collected Works of Watchman Nee (Set 2) Vol. 34: The Glorious Church)

If we want to completely drive out the devil, we have to let God act on us from deep within, and not leave anything behind for our old selves. Only that kind of person can complete the building project.

That's why the Exodus story didn't end with the crossing of the Red Sea. In slavery in Egypt, the Israelites were dead in sin, following the ways of the world. So God prepared Moses, who through the Passover released them. But it doesn't stop there. They arrived in the wilderness, where they ate manna, drank living water, and were detoxified and reconstituted by God, whose ultimate goal was not to release them from slavery, but to build the tabernacle to be his dwelling place.

The whole of Exodus is condensed in Ephesians chapter 2,  in which Paul tell us “you followed the ways of the present world order, obeying ... the spirit now at work around God’s rebel subjects” (2:2) “yours was a world without hope and without God” (2:12) “but God is rich in mercy and because of his great love for us, he brought us to life with Christ when we were dead because of our sins; it is by grace that you are saved.” (2:4-5)

But it goes on. Just as the Israelites erected the tabernacle, so the glory of the Lord could fill it, in their second year in the wilderness (Exod 40:34-35), so Ephesians 2:22 continues: “In him the whole building is bonded together and grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built with all the others into a spiritual dwelling for God.”

Today, we are like the Israelites of the Old Testament, or the Ephesians who Paul was writing to - enslaved by the ways of the world, living without hope and without God. Then Christ came to save us, bringing us into the trinity and building us up into a spiritual dwelling for God.

As well as being his heartfelt desire, the house of God is the ultimate goal of his salvation (Exod 25:8, Matt 16:18, 1 Pet 2:2-5).

Where Will My Resting-Place Be?

On Thursday, Esther will be leaving on an airplane all by herself to the UK to stay with her granny for a month. It couldn’t come too soon. Her mother is about to throttle her, so for her own safety, the temporary peace of our household, and to make my mother very happy as well, I think this is a very good thing for everyone.

Last night, when I came home at almost 11p.m. after going straight from work to the brothers’ fellowship meeting, our apartment was like no-man’s land after a fierce battle. Lena was entrenched in the bathroom, and Esther was pretending to be asleep her bedroom. Relationships improved a little in the morning, but I’ll have to get home earlier tonight to stop hostilities breaking out again.

It’s a cruel parody of modern life that the home is supposed to be a refuge from the storm, a shelter from the elements, but is all too often the opposite. Yet, we need a home. We long for a place to call our own, and a family who we can share our lives with together.

Isaiah chapter 66 starts with God’s cry for a home: “The heavens are my throne and the earth is my footstool. Where will you build a house for me, where will my resting-place be?” God has a heartfelt desire to build a home where he can express himself through his people. This ultimate construction project will defeat evil once and for all, save our fallen earth, and achieve the final goal of salvation. It will be the home that we have all been longing for, for so, so long.

Unlike the normal two-up two-down, God’s dwelling place is a holy blending of God and man. And unlike bricks and mortar, Isaiah chapter 66 goes on to describe the kind of building material that God needs: “The one for whom I have regard is oppressed and afflicted, one who reveres my word” (v.2). God’s ideal roommate has a broken spirit, and a chastened and contrite heart. Those qualities don’t come naturally to us, but with the grace of God, we can pray for the inner strength to be part of God’s plan.

The Old Testament is a story about building God’s temple into a place where his glory is manifested. The New Testament finishes with the ultimate expression of that glory, in the holy city of New Jerusalem, shining out from God’s chosen people, who through him were saved, born again, transformed, and glorified.

So the whole Bible is about God’s search for home, and his grand project to bond together with his saved people into a living frame (Matt 16:18, Eph 2:21-22, 4:16). The first vision in the Bible - Jacob’s dream at Bethel, which means “God’s house” (Genesis 28) - sets a precedent for all the other visions that follow.

In the Old Testament, there’s the building of the tabernacle (Exod 35-40), Solomon’s building of the temple (1 Kings 6), the restoration of the temple (Ezra 3-6); and then in the New Testament, Jesus becomes the tabernacle (John 1:14) and the temple of God (2:21), and in his resurrected state, grows into the church and God’s household (1 Tim 3:15-16), before finally the New Jerusalem is made ready (Rev 21:2).

Br. Junqiang, who is an architect, likes to say the church is a building site, adding that you need to wear a hardhat to protect yourself from falling spanners, and keep your mind on what the finished building will look like, instead of tutting at the nails on the ground. I think that’s a better way of looking my own home too. Rather than seeing it as a battleground, I should take it as a construction project still in progress.

Like it says in Hymn S5: “Jerusalem, the ultimate, Of visions the totality; The Triune God, tripartite man— A loving pair eternally— As man yet God they coinhere, A mutual dwelling place to be; God's glory in humanity / Shines forth in splendor radiantly!”

Servant and Master

Kyle is out of restricted access. I’ve been to see him a couple of times. He says the supplies I bought him, following Joey’s instructions, saved his life. Like I’ve written here before, I felt a little like an angle of the Lord, or a servant of Jehovah, on a mission of mercy that Christmas Eve. The idea to buy supplies for Kyle on his second day in jail wasn’t mine, I borrowed the money from Allen - in fact, I didn’t do anything apart from be at the right place at the right time.

Perhaps that experience helped me really enjoy the message in church, with the long title of “Christ as the servant of Jehovah, typified by Cyrus the King of Persia and the prophet Isaiah”. In the recovery version of the Bible, Isaiah 41-66 is about “Christ as the servant of Jehovah”. It is the overriding theme of the whole second half of the book. The servant is of course a prophecy of Christ, expressed in three persons: first Cyrus the King of Persia Cyrus, second the collective person of Israel, and finally the prophet Isaiah. This message concentrates on the first and third roles.

These days, we wince when we hear the word “servant” because it means serving a master. But when your master is God, that changes the picture. Ironically, being set free from our worldly bonds brings us into the service of God. We are liberated so we can serve the Lord. No one is merely saved without being required to serve. In theory, in the Lord’s Recovery, everyone does their part; but I spend a large amount of my time on people who are saved but not serving!

As well as being like Cyrus, and using our position and natural gifts to serve, we also need to learn how to serve in God’s way and win the favor of our Lord. Christ as the servant of Jehovah, described in Isaiah, gives us plenty of examples: He had the spirit of Jehovah on Him, He used the spirit to serve others, He did not raise His voice, He did not break the bruised reed, He did not snuff out the smoldering wick, He had an obedient tongue, He did not speak for Himself, His spoke words of support to the weary, and so on.

Christ is revealed as the servant of Jehovah in the first verse of Isaiah 42: “Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one, in whom I take delight! I have put my spirit on him; he will establish justice among the nations.”

The word “servant” appears 32 times in Isaiah 41~66. In the first half of this part, Isaiah speaks of an individual servant, but from chapter 54 he mentions servant in the plural 11 times, meaning a communal servant. So as well as being a prophecy for Christ, the servant in Isaiah also describes all Christians together in one person, incorporated in Christ. Christ is an individual servant, but He wants us to become his corporate body, his continuation, and a collective servant of Jehovah.

As well as making us servants, Christ also serves us Himself. In the gospel of Mark, when the disciples compete for the Lord’s favor, He says, “You know that among the Gentiles the recognized rulers lord it over their subjects, and make their authority felt. It shall not be so with you; among you, whoever wants to be great must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be the slave of all. For the son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mark 10:42-45)

One of he hardest lessons in church life is learning to eradicate all ambitions, and let go of any ideas about wrestling yourself into a position of authority. Instead, you must pull up your sleeves and serve others without thought of return. Anyone who is willing to lower themselves will rise far. We should learn from Christ who personally serves us, and serve others in turn. When we serve each other in love, we fulfill our responsibilities as servants. Church life means washing each other’s feet and serving each other. (John 13:14-15)

Br. Cai said he recently googled his name, and came across a blog by a medical student that mentioned him. Br. Cai was one of the judges at the student’s oral defense of his dissertation. Instead of waving him away like the other judges, Br. Cai listened carefully and gave him some useful advice, that helped him get his research up to standard. The student, who is a Christian, wrote in his blog that he later found out to his joy that the doctor who helped him was also a devout Christian. Br. Cai said, in that instance, he felt like Cyrus, the King of Persia and a servant of Jehovah.

The two main prophecies that point to Cyrus in Isaiah describe someone “raised up from the east ... greeted by victory wherever he goes, making nations as his subjects and overthrowing their kings” (Isaiah 41:2) and one “roused from the north ... called from the east ... summoned in (God’s) name.” (Isaiah 41:25) Persia was so big, that Cyrus could come from the north as well as the east!

Cyrus was a very interesting character. Although a Gentile king, he was raised up, anointed (Isaiah 45:1), and used by the Lord. God in His greatness can use anyone He likes. After defeating Babylon, Cyrus did three things to win God’s favor: (1) released God’s people - the captive Israelites; (2) encouraged and supported them to rebuild the temple - God’s home; and (3) rebuilt Jerusalem, which represents God’s kingdom. That put him in God’s good books (Isaiah 48:14).

In return, God did six things for Cyrus (Isaiah 45:2-3, 13): (1) He led the way before him, (2) leveled the hills, (3) smoothed the path, (4) broke down the barriers, (5) cut through the locks, and (6) gave him treasures from dark vaults and hoards from secret places.

God in His greatness can use anyone He likes. In the church there are people in all trades and professions. No matter what you do, whatever your job or position, as long as you free God’s people, build His home, and build the kingdom of God represented by Jerusalem, you too can be God’s servant. As long as what you do is for the authority of God, you are His servant.

Br. Wenyu, in our big district, works for the central tax office. He says when one of the department directors comes out of meetings with his boss, he starts barking orders at his team before he gets to his seat, and tells them what to do before he has had a chance to digest the information, and work out a clear plan. As a result, his team always makes a mess of things, which affects the director’s promotion prospects, and stops everyone below him from moving up. His staff are forced to go to the personnel office behind his back, and ask for a transfer. Br. Wenyu says everyone else in the office knows what’s going on, apart from the poor director, who has become something of a laughingstock. But rather than making fun of him, Wenyu says he reflects on his own performance at work, and asks himself if he is listening carefully to his orders and clearly communicating them to his staff.

There are similarities between the good listener and communicator, and the prophet Isaiah, who is also a type of Christ as the servant of Jehovah. Isaiah says God “called me before I was born, he named me from my mother’s womb ... to be his servant, to bring Jacob back to him” (Isaiah 49:1, 5). Isaiah’s calling was to speak for God (Deuteronomy 54:4, John 3:34, 14:24). Isaiah 50 gives as a glimpse at some key points about speaking for the Lord. “The Lord has given me the tongue of one who has been instructed to console the weary with a timely word; he made my hearing sharp every morning, that I might listen like one under instruction. The Lord God opened my ears and I did not disobey or turn back in defiance. I offered my back to the lash, and let my beard be plucked from my chin, I did not hide my face from insult and spitting. But the Lord God is my helper; therefore no insult can wound me; I know that I shall not be put to shame, therefore I have to set my face like flint.” (Isaiah 50:4-7) So you need to have your wits about your - sharpening them up every morning (Isaiah 50:4), but while your tongue must be sharp, you need to keep it under control, and don’t lash out whenever you have the chance.

Finally, some general things worth learning about Christ as the servant of Jehovah. First, you must use your spirit. The great call of Isaiah 42:1 “Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one, in whom I take delight! I have put my spirit on him; he will establish justice among the nations”, which is repeated in Matthew 12:18, points to the key point of service in Christian life is to use our spirit. For that we must exercise our spirit and trust what it is telling us. Live within a mingled spirit at all times, occasions and places, so that our spirit becomes the leading organ in our body. The practice of Church life is in the spirit. If everyone is spiritual in our meetings and service we will break free of the shackles of old teachings and stuffy liturgical practices, but serve in a fresh spiritual way, with newness, energy and power everyday. (TS 509, 912)

“With unflagging zeal, aglow with the Spirit, serve the Lord” (Romans 12:11) The original Greek for “flagging” is “okneroi” (slothful), which is not normal sluggishness, but particularly spiritual laziness. We’re often sluggish on the outside because our spirit is flagging inside, we’re too lazy to exercise our spirit. When we don’t use our spirit we can get caught in routine, or fall into lifeless practices, traditions and customs. As a servant of Christ, our spirit needs to be aglow. We need to sing hymns, speak, pray, spread the gospel, and serve other people with spirit. The correct relationship between people is a story of the spirit. Offering your body, transforming your soul and firing up your spirit are three necessary elements of church life.

Second, you need to be silent. Isaiah 42:2 says, “He will not shout or raise his voice, or make himself heard in the street”, which is also repeated in Matthew 12:19. The Lord Jesus was silent. He never boasted about himself. When we become more mature in life, we will understand that in a normal Christian life you are at peace, calm, and silent inside. When we quieten down, we will hear God speaking to us. Most Christians lead humdrum lives, which are not very exciting or stimulating, and not punctuated by dramatic change. We are peaceful and quiet inside. We should exhibit an “imperishable quality of a gentle, quiet spirit” (1 Peter 3:4). And we should learn how to serve in a quiet and unassuming way.

Third, be merciful to others. Isaiah 42:3 (Matthew 12:20) “He will not break a crushed reed or snuff out a smoldering wick; unfailingly he will establish justice.” The ancients used to turn reeds into flutes, but would snap them in two if they were too battered to produce a decent tune. In the past, people would also snuff out the wick of a lamp if it was producing smoke instead of light. Today, some of God’s people are like crushed reeds: nothing comes out of them that is worth hearing; others are like smoldering wicks, who grow blacker the longer they burn. But as servers, we need to learn from the Lord, who never rejected a damaged person or snuffed out someone who was like a smoldering wick. We have all probably broken crushed reeds or snuffed out smoldering wicks. As servers, we need to learn from the Lord and be merciful and kind. The first quality of a servers

Fourth and last, be obedient. Isaiah 50:4 says: ““The Lord has given me the tongue of one who has been instructed to console the weary with a timely word; he made my hearing sharp every morning, that I might listen like one under instruction.”

Morning Star

The Bible-study meeting on Thursday last week with my old boss didn’t go too well. He turned up not long after 10 o’clock in the morning, but stinking of booze and still drunk. He’d obviously only stopped knocking them back a few hours ago. He was wearing combat trousers and a Rage Against the Machine t-shirt, and was in a forthright mood. He gave me a hug, and we exchanged some small talk. After I got the first blast of alcohol, I decided to start with a prayer, which he went along with - just about. Then he said he wanted to talk about my sins. So I went along with him this time, but steered the topic around to Genesis 3 - which we were supposed to read weeks ago.

He said straight out that he didn’t want to read the Bible anymore. He’d had a bad week, he said, and was disillusioned by the whole thing. He’d seen a documentary on YouTube that proved Christianity was based on ancient mythologies: the facts were all there, they’d copied the whole thing, and that was it. He was done with the Bible, the Torah, and doubted Jesus ever existed.

I remembered an old podcast by Jeannie Constaninou, in which she battered these ideas - so pulled out some of the things she said: like the fact that the comparisons with mythology were very general - about a savior coming to heal the world, a god being resurrected from the dead etc - which are normal things for gods to do. So it’s hardly surprising that Christianity shares some similarities with other beliefs. The crucial difference, however, is that Christ was a real person, who really did come to save the world, and who really did die and was resurrected. He’s not a myth - he’s the one true God.

I also talked about Josephus and other non-Christian historians from the time who mentioned Jesus; and urged him to read NT Wright.

But he wasn’t having any of it. He couldn’t remember any concrete examples from the documentary, and the debate was going nowhere, so I asked him to send me a link of the video and cut the meeting short. This time he suggested we say a prayer at the end, which was nice. We hugged again before saying goodbye.

I tried to watch the YouTube documentary he sent me later that afternoon me with an open mind. It starts by introducing Horus, the Egyptian god of the sun, who, it claims, was “born on December 25 of a virgin, was the star in the east, adored by three kings upon his birth, he was a teacher at the age of 12, and baptized and began his ministry at 30, he had 12 disciples, performed miracles, he was called the lamb of god and the light, he was crucified, was dead for three days, before being resurrected.”

I have to admit, that took me aback a little bit. But on closer inspection, I could happily dismiss most of it: December 25 - that’s the winter solstice, which would be a natural day for the sun god to be born, and everyone knows Jesus wasn’t really born on that day; the star of the east - not surprising for a sun god; adored by kings, a teacher, miracle performer, “light” and so on fall under the same category.

But the claim that Horus was crucified did catch my eye, because I didn't know the Egyptians did crucifixion, and I don't know of any other gods who were killed in that humiliating way. I looked it up on Horus's wikipedia site, which says he’s the god of the sky, and contains the sun and moon, but doesn’t mention crucifixion. Then I checked a large PDF document with academic references, that he later sent me, which backs up the claims in the movie. And I also found the book on which the movie was based: "Christ in Egypt" by D.M. Murdock.

Murdock goes to pains to say that the above story of Horus (which looks so like Christ’s story) isn’t a “linear” narrative: it’s been put together with different “motifs” and “symbolic” references. A closer look at the "crucified" claim makes it clearer what that means. By “crucified” she doesn’t mean the normal definition of "nailed to a cross", but "cruciform" as in "holding your hands outstretched". Then she mentions some stuff about "crosses" in the sky, like where the sun "crosses" at the equinox, how the sun sits in the middle of the “cross” of the zodiac, and the Southern Cross constellation. Finally, there’s a picture of Horus with his arms outstretched across the sky (normal behavior for the sky god you would think) - which put together apparently means Horus was "crucified in the heavens"! There's 30 pages of this bullshit in her book! Surely it’s easier to believe in Christ than this childish nonsense?

I sent my old boss an email, with the above rebuttal and some links to more serious research on the historical Jesus, like Gary Habermas’s book, but didn’t get a reply yet. Perhaps the podcast I attached was too big for his inbox, but he probably has other things on his mind. I read in this morning’s paper that he went to the high court yesterday. He just changed lawyers, so the judge begrudgingly gave him another month to read the documents. I hope we can go back to reading the Bible this Thursday.

Soul Food

For the last month or more, I’ve been reading the Bible with my old boss on Thursday mornings. He was recently convicted of a fatal hit and run, while driving drunk, but maintains he is innocent, and is fighting the case in the appeal court.

Since his world fell apart after the crash last year, he found comfort in some new age and quasi-religious writings, and in our conversations, he looks for parallels with his ideas and the Bible. I started to put my foot down a bit more last week, and told him if we try to find the common ground between different faiths and philosophies, we get a watered-down set of ideas that are so obvious they aren’t useful. I said it was like boiling everything down to “porridge”. To my annoyance, he said he liked porridge, and pointed out that the common truths - like love and light - are difficult enough to practice on their own, without having to complicate them.

He’s sick with the flu now (maybe he isn’t getting enough vitamins on his diet of porridge!) so unfortunately I can’t see him this week. I enjoy our meetings, but I know I have to try to exercise his spirit and stop debating these questions with him.

I’m drawing some comfort from our current reading in church of Isaiah 40 - which is all about comfort.

Chapter 40 is a turing point in the book. The first 39 chapters are about God’s punishment of his people and judgement of the gentiles. The last 27 chapters, in the 66 chapter book, are about salvation. So 40 is the first chapter of the second section, and it starts with God speaking words of comfort to the hearts of his people.

By amazing coincidence, or perhaps divine providence, the whole bible also has 66 books, and the first 39 are in the old testament, which is about old creation; while the next 27 are the new testament, which is a revelation about the new creation.

After the great comfort call in the first two verses (Isaiah 40:1-2), verses 3-4 are a prophesy about Christ’s forerunner, John the Baptist, who would announce the gospel of repentance from the wilderness. “A voice cries: Clear the road through the wilderness for the Lord, prepare a highway across the desert for our God. Let every valley be raised, every mountain and hill brought low, uneven ground be made smooth, and steep places become level.” (Isaiah 40:3-4)

The highway mentioned in these passages is also a way into and out of people, through their hearts. The heart is the exit and entrance of our spirit. Before Christ can enter our inner being and set it aflame, He needs to first go through the heart.

But the heart is a treacherous landscape of intellect, emotion, will and conscience. It is a wilderness, a desert full of the steep slopes and winding paths. If we don’t open ourselves to change, those words of comfort from God will be blocked by our twisted ideas, confused emotions, uneven desires, and unreliable values. 

To allow God to flatten the hills and straighten the curves in our hearts, we have to repent. Repentance is not about being remorseful, or even turning over a new leaf. It means having a change of heart.

The rest of Isaiah 40 talks about the need to get to know ourselves better, recognize we’re nothing, stop trusting ourselves, and be willing to look to the Lord, be filled by him and changed by him.

Hallelujah to that!

Hear and act

I went to an interesting meeting last week - a blending conference at the church center in Nantou for elders and leaders. It was about the central line of the Bible, which is (1) the word of God, (2) the triune God, (3) God’s economy, (4) the all inclusive Christ, (5) the life-giving spirit, (6) the body of Christ, and (7) New Jerusalem. Apart from the central line, or narrative, that runs through the Bible, there are also sub-points and branches and leaves that flesh out the bones of the central structure.

The group that came from Beitou includide me, Br. Shuyuan, our new Br. Boan, Br. Ni from big district 1 and Br. Shen, who is an elder in Hall 12. It was a good turnout from our small district - three out of five from the whole hall, but to be honest I wouldn’t have bothered going if Shuyuan hadn’t signed up first, and Boan wouldn’t have gone without us.

In the sharing part near the end of one of the early meetings I got up and said something briefly in Chinese, that got a huge round of applause. In his conclusion, the brother who was leading that part of the meeting said, when everybody saw a foreigner getting up to speak, they were bracing themselves for English, but they heard me speaking their language, they gave me a big hand. “That’s what it’s like,” said the brother, “for God, when He hears us humans speaking his word from the Bible, He claps His hands in appreciation too!”

Talking about the central line, another co-worker made a comment about churches, or big districts, or small districts that are especially blessed, grow very quickly, have something ‘special’ or ‘unique’ about them. He said they had to be careful they didn’t leave the main line. That got Shuyuan thinking. He asked me if the brother was talking about Hall 12, and I said, yes, he probably was. Hall 12 is a bit of a maverick in the church. We pretty much follow our own schedule, and apart from the summer and winter trainings, we only occasionally refer to the messages that come from Anaheim.

Obviously Shuyuan wasn’t the only one who spotted the oblique reference to Hall 12 at that blending, because at the district leaders meeting on Monday, our elders brought the issue up.

They said that we essentially follow Witness Lee’s method of converting, raising, teaching and building people into the church. None of those things is easy, so we have to look at time investment and results. That’s why the messages in Hall 12 focus on practical aspects of Christian life and how to act on the word in the Bible. Recently we’ve been going into Isaiah in some detail, because very few of the saints in Beitou know that wonderful book well. So we have a church life that’s designed for our needs.

The overall plan for children, students, young professionals, young families and so on is very good. Regrettably old people miss out at the moment, but that omission will be addressed soon. I have to say, we are pretty good at keeping people in the fold, and there are lots of happy families and well-balanced kids here. So Hall 12 must be doing something right.

Br. Shen said we don’t always follow the high theology, that sometimes comes from the central church, because you need to balance theory with practice. Br. Cai said the two are like the wings of a bird, with just one flapping, the bird will go round in a circle. And to use the above example, the central branch of theology needs the branches and leaves of practice to give it expression. Finally, Br. Ke quoted Jesus in Matthew 7:24, “So whoever hears these world of mine and acts on them is like a man who had the sense to build his house on rock.” So we need to hear, and act.

I think there are some things that Hall 12 could do to bridge the gap with the rest of the church - like send more brothers to those big blendings for a start! But I have to admit I feel very lucky to have landed here in Beitou.

Living stone

I just got back from Tainan. I took the family down there to see Lena’s father get baptized on Friday. What a wonderful thing that was. But we almost didn’t make it, because Lena messed up the train booking, so we lost our reservation and had to buy the tickets again at the station, which was packed with people all trying to get out of Taipei for Tomb-Sweeping Day. I was looking at the queue, and looking at the time, and thinking, “We’re not going to make it.” I was about to turn on Lena and tell her it was all her fault for mixing up the dates, but then remembered one of the passages we’ve been pray-reading this week, “he who has faith will not waver” (Isaiah 28:16) which in the Chinese translation is 信靠的人必不著急 － more like “he who has faith will not worry”, so I calmed down, left the family in the line and went to asked for some advice. A helpful ticket inspector told me to go to another part of the station, where there were more windows. So I did, got the tickets, and ran back clutching them in my sweaty hand. Amazingly, we even got seats on the train, and made it to our old house in Tainan at 8:30, just in time to sing a hymn, say a prayer, and see Mr. Dong get baptized. Our apartment looked completely different packed with people from the church in Tainan, and it was weird to hear hymns being sung in there, but at the same time, it seemed to be what that place was always meant for. The raised wooden floor we have in an alcove opposite the bathroom even turned into a handy viewing platform to see the baptism. After it was over, I helped my father-in-law change. He was very emotional and was saying he couldn’t believe it had taken him so long to find Christ - he’s 85.

Last week was another big haul for our little group back here in Beitou - three people got saved, four counting Guimei - who we gave away to 3-1. The three were Shuzhen’s sister-in-law Qizhen and niece Jieyi, who turned to Christ at Jinmu’s funeral; and Li Jingling, who is an old friend of Shuzhen’s from Bali. That brings our total to ten this year. Quite amazing. We’re going even faster than we did last year. The only problem is how to build these newcomers up to become building blocks for the church.

That verse from Isaiah is about a corner stone, a block of granite in Zion. Paul quotes the same passage in Romans 10:9-11, but in connection with calling on the name of the Lord. In other words, when we call on the “stone” of Jesus we will not waver, not be shamed, and we will find salvation. In 1 Peter 2:4-5, the disciple says we come to the living stone of Jesus, we are reborn, Jesus enters us, revitalizes our once lifeless spirits, and makes us into living stones as well. Paul also says the rock that gave water to Moses and the Israelites in the wilderness was Christ himself (1 Cor 10:4), so we need to drink the living water of Jesus, grow in life, and be formed into living stones, that in cooperation with other believers can be built into something useful.

That’s a summary of this week’s message. Here endeth the lesson.

Smoldering wick

Jinmu’s funeral on Sunday, March 13, went very well. His mother didn’t come, so we were spared the potential problem of her kicking up a fuss about his photograph not being on display. We started about 15 minutes early, but the small room was already packed with over 50 people - up to 20 of Jinmu’s relatives and the rest brothers and sisters in the church. I was hosting it with Shuyuan, and we were both a little nervous about the first hymn because it was in Taiwanese, which neither of us speak very well. But it was terrific, and although Shuyuan forgot how to say “relatives” in Taiwanese, he did his explanation of the words all in Taiwanese as well.

The obituary from Shuzhen and the children was good, and the testimonies were inspired. There wasn’t much good to say about Br. Jinmu - he was drunk all the time, and that was about it. But without hiding the fact that he drank himself to death, they managed to pull out some nice little vignettes, especially Br. Zhong (who gave his entire testimony in Taiwanese, even the Bible quotations). He said, the only time Jinmu went to a Sunday service, he noticed how he was watching his children, and understood how he felt, because Br. Zhong was also separated from his family. Jinmu then told him he thought it was great the kids were in church.

The theme of the whole funeral service was summed up in Isaiah 42:3, “He will not break a crushed reed or snuff out a smoldering wick;” Jinmu was a crushed reed - when you tried to get a decent tune out of him, the air would just escape through the sides and a whining sound would come out; and he was a smoldering wick as well - the more he burned the blacker the room became. But Jesus never gave up on him. At the end, I asked Jinmu’s brothers if it was okay, and they said it was fine, and thanked us for our help. Later when Shuzhen got back home in the evening, her sister-in-law called her up and told her she wants to come and “Amen!” with us. Praise the Lord! Who would have believed someone could get saved from attending Jinmu’s funeral.

The day before the funeral, at a young professionals training on Saturday, I gave what was possibly the most uninspiring testimony ever. It sucked. I was unprepared and was talking about something above my head. Perhaps I’m being too harsh on myself, but I think I insulted three groups of people in ten minutes. Oh well, like Paul says in Philippians 3:13, “Forget the past, push on to the prize...”.

I went to see Joey at Taipei Prison last Thursday. It was good to see him again, and have a proper talk with Allen on the way in the car. I’m trying to get him to get back into the church - he has problems getting up on Sunday morning, so perhaps I can persuade him to come to the trainings at our hall in Beitou on Sunday evening.

Fear and Trembling

I met up with my old boss, Z, for coffee this morning. He was arrested last year for a hit and run while driving drunk after leaving a KTV at 4 o’clock in the morning. The other guy died in the crash. The poor bloke was delivering newspapers, working two jobs to support his ailing mother, so of course the Taiwanese media went crazy over the story: “Drunk rich foreigner in a big Mercedes kills poor filial son in a hit and run”. There was also stuff about Z trying to scrap the car and flee the country through Jinmen. After his arrest, he denied he was driving the car - saying he’d asked a valet from the KTV to drive him home. Although a CCTV showed the valet getting into the driver’s seat, the same camera caught him walking back to the KTV about 5 minutes later, saying Z had thrown him out of the car, and driven on by himself.

I have to admit, I thought he was guilty at the time, and still think he’s guilty now. I also have to admit I’m biased. My short experience of working for him wasn’t good, and our relationship ended very badly when a contract we’d worked on together went belly up.

After the hit and run made the headlines, I realized how easily it could have been me driving the car. But for the grace of God, and my inability to hack it in the business world, I could have been behind the wheel. I felt like writing to Z to offer some sympathy, but worried how he’d take it. Apart from the TV and papers, I got snippets of news about him through a mutual friend, and his side of the story on the foreigner’s chat forum. In the end I decided to write him an email. He wrote me a very nice reply; and when his court case came up for the final hearing a couple of weeks ago, he invited me - as well as every other person he knew - to go and give him some support. So I went.

Listening to the evidence, you could tell both sides were lying. The police investigation was unbelievably sloppy, and the testimonies from the KTV guys were full of holes. But there was a lot of cock and bull coming from Z’s side too. We’ll see what the verdict is next week, but I fear the judge will take a look at the crucial few minutes when the accident happened, and conclude that only Z could have been driving.

After the court appearance, Z wrote me another email to thank me for coming, and suggested we meet up for coffee. I said yes, and after a couple of delays I eventually found the time. To be honest, I wasn’t looking forward to it. I didn’t know what I was going to say if he asked me about the trial, and my memories of him were dominated by his ruthless, manipulative and paranoid nature; but I’d forgotten that he can also be a really nice bloke. He was bearded, so he didn’t get recognized. I bought him a coffee, because he was broke - which I believe this time - and we sat down in the Starbucks in Q-Square for a chat.

We had a long talk. Z said since the accident, he’s been unemployed so he’s had a lot of time to read and search for spirituality. He went through Islam, Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism, and now he’s interested in UFOs. I talked about Christianity of course, but we both tried really hard to find common ground. In the end, I was surprised to hear myself inviting him to my home on Sunday. I told him about the funeral and everything, and he said he’d ask his girlfriend - who is also mixed up in the case - to come. When we'd run out of things to say, Meihui - who lives in the apartment block above Q-Square - turned up, and went back to her home to get me a memory stick with some gospel download on it, and a copy of The Mystery of Human Life for Z. So I took that as a good sign. However, I don’t know how I’m going to get this past our more conservative group members, if he really does come. But I hope he does.

At Rest

Br. Jinmu died on Wednesday afternoon, February 16, at around 3:30. Shuzhen and her daughter Wenying found him at 5:30, sitting on the sofa in his home in Taishan, looking like he was asleep. A neighbor saw him walking around at lunchtime, so he seems to have gone very quickly and peacefully, but it couldn’t have been a nice - being poisoned from the inside, and bleeding from his stomach. He had a high pain threshold and didn’t like to complain.

When we got the news, we rushed over to Xinzhuang Hospital. I got a little tetchy when there was a little miscommunication that delayed us for 20 minutes, but we got on the road eventually. It’s my fault though - I really need to get a car. At the hospital, we found Shuzhen, Wenying and Jinmu’s mother kneeling before his body in the mortuary, weeping, praying and singing hymns.

We comforted the three of them, telling Mrs. Li, that Jinmu was sleeping, and would be awakened again one day. Shuyuan and Qionglin turned up, and then Jinmu’s brothers arrived. They are all hardened market traders, and their mother is a typically tough and traditional Taiwanese battle-ax; but they all agreed to ask the church to organize the funeral.

I got tetchy again, when one older brother in our group took control of the situation - standing right in front of me on a couple of occasions, and once even asking me to sit in another seat so he could talk directly to Suzhen. I could have handled it, but probably not as well as him, so I calmed down, and watched what he did, so I could learn for the next time. Even he stepped over the line a few times with Mrs. Li - she snapped at him when he said the ceremony would be “simple”, saying she had money and she didn’t want to send her son off in a cheap way.

At the morgue in the No. 2 Funeral Parlor, we went through the paperwork and prayed again as Jinmu’s body was put into storage. This time the body-bag was open. Shuzhen again said he looked at peace; but when I saw his corpse, it was like looking at the sum of all the violence the alcohol had done to his body, added up and presented as one final total at the bottom of the page. As we prayed, it came to mind that Jesus had died for him, and endured all that suffering and more for the forgiveness of his sins, and for all of us who abuse and pollute our bodies and minds in different ways, but no less destructive or painful to Him.

The next day Lena went with Shuzhen and her mother-in-law to tidy up Jinmu’s place and make some other arrangements. In the car, Mrs. Li blamed Shuzhen for abandoning Jinmu, and letting him drink himself to death. Lena said Shuzhen just let her finish scolding her, even though tears were running down her face, and then patiently explained her side of the story. She’s quite an amazing woman. Especially considering Jinmu’s family were the first to sign all his assets over to them, and break other ties with him, when he started gambling as well as drinking. It would have been easy for Shuzhen to throw that one back at her mother-in-law, and it would have boiled over into a huge fight. But she instead she stayed gentle, meek and mild, which must have taken a lot of strength.

The date for the funeral is Sunday, February 13. I’m organizing and hosting it - so I have my chance to take control now. I just pray that I don’t make a holy mess of it.

I’ve been seeing Haoyuan regularly, and last week I brought a couple of brothers - the Guos - from the neighborhood. He’s doing very well. Still asking questions, but you can tell from the things he asks that he’s going in the right direction.

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with our sprits!

Jinmu

It’s been a busy week. We have a couple of Chinese people staying with us. They’re here for a big blending meeting this weekend. I’ve been working all this week through Chinese New Year, which I thought would be okay, because I’m used to it, but I almost blew a fuse on Friday. I guess things have been getting on top of me recently, so I took the day off today (Saturday, Jan 5) instead of going on the Taipei tour and to the meeting with the Chinese visitors, which means I could catch up on writing some overdue letters to Joey.

Last weekend was busy too. I went to see Br. Jinmu on Sunday afternoon (Jan 30), with a whole bunch of people from our group. He’s in hospital, again, with liver failure, again, after years of heavy drinking. This time the doctor says it could be the end. I remember a couple of years ago when he had a similar relapse, I helped baptize him, and tried to set up regular home meetings to stimulate his appetite for the word of God, and get him back on the straight and narrow. He pulled through that time, and made some improvements, but quickly slipped back into his old ways. 

Last weekend, he was looking very yellow and bloated. His skin was like a paper bag, and the whites of his eyes were coffee-colored. His arms and legs were thin and weak, his face was drawn, and he had a great swollen gut. He was obviously tired and in pain, and he was drooling from his mouth.

He was sitting on a chair in his small hospital room when our group trooped in, and he glared at everyone with his angry coffee-colored eyes. I was at the back of the crowd, and apart from his wife, children, and mother-in-law - who are all in the same church group as us - he didn’t know anyone in the room. So I pushed my way to the front, and he smiled when he saw me. I crouched down beside him, and held his hand, and we all sang him a hymn, prayed for him, and I even got him to mutter a few words of prayer himself. 

I don’t know why, but I feel strangely connect to Br. Jinmu. The first time we started praying for him about four years ago, not long after his wife was saved, even though I didn’t know him from Adam, I started weeping tears for him. After that, I felt compelled to go and see him at the market in Bali where he sold pork, to tell him about the gospel. He was permanently drunk, and virtually impossible to talk to, but when he got ill after a bout of very heavy drinking two years ago, he hit an absolute low point and really had no choice but to go up. I remember clearly when I got the call to go to his house to help baptize him, I was in a meeting at DaAi, listening to the global Tzu Chi volunteer coordinator talking about why Buddhism was better than Christianity. I made my excuses and left, then met Br. Jinzhong outside the TV station. In the back of Jinzhong’s van was a big plastic bathtub that he’d just bought, because he knew Jinmu didn’t have one at home. It was too big to fit into the small bathroom, so we had to baptize him in the kitchen - which didn’t have hot water!

That chilly introduction into the kingdom of God didn’t bring about the instant salvation that I’d hoped for. Like I said, there were some improvements, but they were mostly blips on a downward slope, which turned into free-fall when Jinmu lost hope that he’d ever get back together with his wife and children.

Shuzhen blames herself for not getting saved sooner, and letting her marriage drift beyond the point of no return. I don’t know what to think, except that we’re all on the road to salvation - some going the right direction and others heading the wrong way; some going faster than others, and everyone starting at different points, so each running their own race. Like Paul says in that brilliant analogy in Philippians 3:12-14: our finishing line is when we win full maturity; but Christ has to lay hold of us before we can lay our hands on the trophy.